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Skumps/Christopher Tells Homer his Plan of Marriage to a Peasant Girl
(Back at the castle in Soleanna, the Duke is looking out the balcony of the dining hall and sighed sadly as Homer is enjoying a chicken leg) Duke: No sign of her yet, Homer. Homer: Of course not. It's a good half hour until sunset. (He finished his chicken leg) Homer: Mmm, chicken leg.... (Then he noticed the Duke still feeling concerned) Homer: Oh, come on! Cheer up! The battle's over! Your daughter's as good as here. (The Duke walked over to him) Duke: I'm sorry, Homer, but after sixteen years of worrying, never knowing.... Homer: The past! All in the past. (He whistled to the door and in came a chubby drunk-looking man with yellow skin, light brown messy hair, and wearing a pink long-sleeved messy tunic, blue pants, and brown shoes. He is Barney Gumble, Homer's drunk minstrel and best friend) Barney: Here you are. Champagne. (He burps as he filled the cups with the champagne and handed them to Homer and the Duke) Homer: Tonight, we toast the future, with something I've been saving for sixteen years. (The Duke started to cheer up a bit) Homer: Here, to the future. Duke: Right, Homer. To the future. (Then as Barney enjoyed some of his beer, Homer and the Duke began singing, cuing Barney to play his sitar) Homer: Skumps, skumps Duke: Skumps Homer: A toast to this night Duke: The outlook is rosy Homer: And the future is bright Homer and Duke: Our children will marry Our kingdoms, normal and magic, unite Skumps, skumps, skumps (They toast as they finished their song and drank some champagne. As Barney enjoyed his beer again after he finished his sitar, Homer and the Duke resumed their conversation) Homer: Ah, excellent vintage. Barney: (Drunkenly) Yeah, nice. (He burps again, but Homer and the Duke ignored him as Homer prepared another toast) Homer: And now, to the new home, eh? Duke: (Confused) New home? Homer: Children need a nest of their own, right? A place to raise their little ones, right? (Understanding, the Duke nods) Duke: Well, I suppose in time. Homer: Of course. To the home! (Then they sang again as they prepared their next toast and Barney drunkenly played his sitar on cue again) Homer: Skumps Duke: Skumps Homer: A toast to the home Duke: One grander by far Than a palace in Rome Homer: Now, let me fill up your glass That last was all foam Homer and Duke: Skumps, skumps, skumps (After they finished their song and toast, Barney continued to drunkenly play his sitar when Homer cleared his throat, making him stop. Then Barney presented the blueprints to the new home Homer planned to the Duke with Homer's help) Homer: The plans! (Barney burps again) Barney: (Drunkenly) Here it is. (The Duke got confused) Homer: Well, what do you think? Nothing elaborate, of course. Forty bedrooms, dining hall. Honeymoon Cottage, really. (The Duke got surprised) Duke: Y-You mean you're building it already? Homer: Building it? It's finished! Our lovebirds can move in tomorrow. Duke: (Surprised) Tomorrow? But Homer, they're not even married yet. Homer: (Chuckles a bit) I'll take care of that tonight. (He prepared another toast) Homer: To the wedding! (But the Duke stopped him) Duke: Now, hold on, Homer. I haven't even seen my daughter yet, and you're taking her away from me. (During this, Barney continued to drunkenly drink his beer) Homer: You're getting my Christopher, aren't you? Duke: Yes, but.... Homer: You want to see our grandchildren, don't we? Duke: Of course, but.... Homer: Then there's no time to lose. Getting on in years. (He chuckles a bit and tried to toast again) Homer: To the wedding! (But again, the Duke stopped him as Barney drunkenly fell asleep under the dining table from all the beer he drank) Duke: Now, be reasonable, Homer. After all, Elise knows nothing about all of this yet. Homer: Well, so? (He drinks his champagne) Duke: So, it may come as quite a shock, but.... (Homer got surprised that he coughed his champagne up and got angry) Homer: "Shock?!" My Christopher a shock? What's wrong with my Christopher? Duke: (Being reasonable) Nothing, Homer. I only meant.... Homer: Why doesn't your daughter like my son? Duke: Now, now.... Homer: I'm not so sure my son likes your daughter! (The Duke calmly started to get angry) Duke: Now, see here.... Homer: I'm not so sure my grandchildren want you for a grandfather! (Offended, the Duke got angry) Duke: Why, you...! You unreasonable, pompous, blustering, old windbag! Homer: What?! (He got angry) Homer: "Unreasonable?" "Pompous," eh? (He grabs a nearby fish) Homer: En garde, sir! Duke: I warn you, Homer. This means war. Homer: Oh, yeah?! (Then he was about to whack the Duke with the fish when the Duke grabbed the plate the fish laid on and used it as a shield, but when the fish drooped down from being hit on the plate repeatedly, both Homer and the Duke's anger melted away into shock and surprise and then they laughed merrily, realizing they were arguing for no reason) Homer and Duke: (After their laughter finished) I'm sorry. Homer: What's this all about anyway? Duke: Nothing. Absolutely nothing of the sort. Homer: Yeah. The children are bound to fall in love with each other. Duke: Precisely. And as for grandchildren, I'll have the royal woodcarvers start work on the cradle tomorrow. Homer: Whoo-hoo! King-size, that is. (They picked up their champagne cups) Duke: Certainly. To the woodcarvers' guild. (Then they heard Barney sleeping with loud snores. They look under and saw him sleeping) Duke: I guess he drank one beer too many. Homer: Yeah. (Then they heard the royal announcer shouting) Royal announcer: (Voice-over) His royal highness, Prince Christopher Aonuma, and his steed, Mailbirdramon! (Homer and the Duke got happy) Homer: Christopher! (He ran off to go greet his son while the Duke walked away. Outside in the courtyard, Christopher and Mailbirdramon arrived and after Christopher disembarked, Homer arrived) Homer: Christopher, Christopher! Hey, Christopher! (Christopher noticed him and greeted him in calm happiness as Homer tried to hurry him) Homer: Hurry, my boy, hurry. Change into something suitable. You can't meet your future bride looking like that. Christopher: But I have met her, Dad. (Homer got confused) Homer: (Confused) You have? Where? Christopher: Once upon a dream. (Then he danced with him while humming until Homer, still confused, stopped him) Homer: Christopher, stop! Let go of me! Now, what's all this nonsense about your same dream again? Christopher: It wasn't a dream this time, Dad. I really did meet her finally. (Homer then got hopeful upon hearing him say that) Homer: (Hopefully) Princess Elise III? Whoo-hoo! We must tell the Duke. Why, this is the most.... Christopher: I didn't say it was Elise. Homer: (Confused) You didn't? What did you say you met then? Christopher: A girl named White Snow, and I'm gonna marry her. And she's a really kind peasant girl, as well. Homer: (Shocked) A peasant girl?! You're going to marry...? Why, Christopher. (He chuckles nervously a bit) Homer: You're joking around, right? Christopher: Nope. (Homer turned to Mailbirdramon) Homer: Isn't he? Mailbirdramon: No. He's serious. Homer: D'oh! But Christopher, you can't do this to me! Why would you...? Mailbirdramon: It's his call. Homer: (To Mailbirdramon) Stay out of this! (To Christopher) You're a prince, and you have to marry that princess you're betrothed to! Christopher: Now, Dad. Relax. That's in the old days. Nowadays, you can.... Homer: Nowadays, my rear! I'm the king and you must come to your senses! (Christopher climbed on Mailbirdramon's back) Christopher: And marry White Snow? Homer: (Unaware at first) Exactly! Christopher: Goodbye, Dad! I'm off to meet her like I promised her. Homer: (Unaware at first) Okay, goodbye! Have a.... (He realized suddenly as Christopher rode off on Mailbirdramon out of the courtyard) Homer: Wait a minute! No, wait! Christopher, come back here! (But Christopher and Mailbirdramon disappeared into the forest to meet "White Snow" at the cottage like they promised) Homer: CHRISTOPHER!! (But too late, Christopher and Mailbirdramon were gone. Then he sadly went to the steps leading to the entrance of the castle and sat down in concern) Homer: How will I ever tell the Duke? (He sighed sadly) Coming up: Elise returns home secretly with the Winx Club and Powerpuff Girls escorting her. Then while she relaxes herself while the Winx Club and Powerpuff Girls discuss how to have the "Two Christophers" compete for Elise, Sedusa soon strikes silently and successfully lures Elise to her curse. Category:Fan Fiction Category:Sleeping Beauty Parodies